Author Archives: Denise

To those who are outside looking in (Mother’s Day)

peony

This is for you.

You who have longed for days, weeks, years, a lifetime to feel the kick of life within but find yourself empty still

You who have outwardly smiled and laughed celebrating their joy while inside your pain was with knife-like precision stabbing your heart

You who have endured the questions, the suggestions and the comments from those who will never understand the depth of this emptiness

You who find yourself “less than” in a world where we can have everything

You who look “fine” on the outside but find yourself broken and bruised on the inside

You who long for this one day to quickly pass for it is not yours and may never be

This is for you who want to hide away avoiding the awkward moment where it is easier to smile empty than explain “I am not”

This is for you because I know

Because it is also for me….

Oh sweet friend, may we find the comfort in the only One who understands our broken places.

May we hold tight believing in His greater purpose even when we know it has never been our plan.

May we give up this invisible burden and hang on to His amazing grace.

May we dare to trust Him in the pain and yearn with hope to the future.

May we find comfort in knowing that every tear we cry is seen by

His loving eyes and captured by His loving heart.

On this day when we find ourselves left out…

May we find the strength within to move beyond this empty dream

and whisper thanks for all that is.

 

Uncontainable, immeasurable grace

Falling Rain

treewithfungi

Gratitude and humility are overwhelming me. Pouring down upon me like the incessant rain falling outside my window.  I know long before this earth existed I was on God’s mind. I was and now remain an object of His focus. In Him and through Him, all the broken pieces of my life have been made whole and holy.

I bow my head in humility for I know I deserve none of it. While He has never taken His focus from me, my eyes have not held the same gaze.

Yet, still, grace and mercy flow…

I know I have been placed here and now, much like Esther, for such a time as this. I have been given opportunities to live the life of faith I profess. In Him and through Him I am equipped for the task. He supplies all my needs and all my strength to accomplish what He has set before me.

I fall to my knees in humility knowing I deserve none of this. For while He has the task prepared, I have chosen my own endeavors.

Yet, still, grace and mercy flow…

I know I have been loved completely and sacrificially. Loved to such a depth I cannot fathom where the beginning differs from the ending.

I fall on my face in humility knowing I deserve none of this. While He loves me beyond my comprehension, I fail to love beyond my own irritation.

Yet, still, grace and mercy flow…

As the raindrop falls freely from the sky, so does this grace and mercy fall from Heaven.

I cannot control it.

And, I don’t want to stop it.

Without it my life would be unbearable,

but with each drop that falls I am filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

A morning song

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Dawn

A new breath

A fresh song

Lord, I pray that my heart is redirected today because this life is full of choices.

May I release the grip on the past – in all its good and bad.  May I stop striving for the tomorrow to the detriment of my today.  May my heart and my head learn to savor the gift of my now in all its raw beauty.

Awake in me the slumbering graces of gratitude and joy.  If a song of joy is the echo of Your life in me, I fear that a silence booms an absence that should never be.

So this morning as the sun peeks across the horizon, I place myself in its warming beam and feel the embrace of the One who thunders in whispers and who paints the morning sky.  Who loves with immensity my heart can barely fathom and yet, begs to drink it in.

This morning I choose stand in awe of my Creator.   Reverberate in my life today, Lord.   Let me not miss a single moment for each one is a gift – a precious opportunity – to choose to live the story You have given me.  Oh, that I may live it well with gratitude and joy.

Sing over me

Sing within me

Sing through me…I am Yours.

 

 

 

Holy CPR

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Early this morning the sky blazed as the sun broke through the night sky.  Oh, how I am grateful to have seen His brushstrokes upon the horizon.   In a fleeting moment, His hand created a masterpiece that resuscitated my soul.

We all need that now and then – a holy CPR.

In an instant, beauty kindled an awareness of His Presence.  With each compression of my heart His essence flowed through my every cell.  With each breath that left my lips, His love was made manifest.  A love that bellowed life to me and burned white hot in each face I encountered today.   I saw Him.

He was there.  He is there.  He will always be there.

Here

With me

With you

Oh friends, I pray in the midst of your ordinary moments today that you too have seen Him.  For as much as He permeated the morning sky, He invades our every moment.   It’s an awakening of soul and spirit.   Welcome Him in and be revived.

Released

beach

It has almost been a year of walking on eggshells and gently trying to dance around a subject because I didn’t have the strength within me to enter in.  The painful result of trying to go there and watching my words fall flat between each and every time.  I get tired of saying them when saying them doesn’t seem to matter.   So, I hold my breath like I hold my tongue and I haven’t been able to let it out.

Until now

It’s the moment when my side aches because it longs for fresh air.  I can’t take it any longer.  I gasp, sucking in the fresh air.

I breathe.  Inhale, exhale and with each consecutive breath the sense of deprivation withers from within.

The words don’t matter anymore.    Do I still think they are worthy to be said?  Yes.  Realistically, however, I know it really doesn’t make a difference now.  Lines have been drawn and crossed.  And frankly, I still don’t think they would be heard so off into the wind they go.

Released